


linger

by nothinelsemattered



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Spoilers, i added lup bc she was mentioned, taako is growing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-24 03:53:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20901215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothinelsemattered/pseuds/nothinelsemattered
Summary: there's always been something about taako's hair that moved something inside him.





	linger

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first posted fic on ao3, and i know it's short, but this idea came to me after seeing this art by one of my fav artists https://herbgerblin.tumblr.com/post/188137555341/opinion-on-short-haired-taako  
expect more taz fics from me in the future, i really enjoyed writing this despite how short it was

Taako had always stared at his reflection just a little too long. For as long as he could remember, he had been almost obsessed with it. He could play it off as vanity, and sure, maybe some of it could be attributed to that, but that’s not what it was entire, not what the essence of it was. 

When he looked at his reflection, he felt… something. It was almost like a memory, but not really, just something tugging at the back of his mind. He always wondered what it was - it wasn’t an annoying feeling, it felt almost… safe. There was no way to describe it, really, other than his own reflection had some sort of feeling of home which he knew was irrational but couldn’t help but lean in to.

Half the time, he wanted to put some sort of rationality to it. He was his own home, he had to be because that’s what had kept him going. He didn’t have anyone other than himself, well, not for a long time. There were a few people along the way, but no, they weren’t entirely there for him, only he was there for him. Deep down, though, Taako knew none of that was why he felt that way. He couldn’t explain how he knew, he just knew.

So, whenever the topic of cutting his hair came up, well… he couldn’t bear to cut it short. He made up excuses, and his locks of gold that shone like fire from a candle in the sun stayed just the way he liked them. His hair stayed long because when it was long he knew he’d have that feeling of home or whatever it was. His hair stayed long because that felt right. Long hair was safe.

Here he stood, though, before a mirror, scissors in hand. It was such crude work, he could probably do better with magic or with the help of someone else but this was something he needed to do himself. 

Once he got all his memories back, it was easy for him to realize why he stared at his reflection too long, why he couldn’t bear to cut his hair, why his appearance felt safe. Lup and Taako had always kept their hair long. When they were younger, it was harder to tell them apart. It was so much easier to get away with whatever they wanted when it was one person instead of two. 

Every time he looked in the mirror, even if he wasn't conscious of it (he had no way of knowing, he had to remind himself), he felt connected to his sister, to his twin. To his heart. 

She was back now, everyone was back, all the memories, all of his family, they were back. The people he’d traveled for so many years with, the people he’d grown to love, he had them again, and so many new people to add to his family.

Taako still lingered at his reflection. Too many years of staring at himself, at the little details… he could see his sister everywhere. But he didn’t have to miss her anymore, she was here, he remembered her… he needed to change something. If he wanted to move on from the habits that he’d developed, he had to find some way to move on.

The first snip was the hardest.

Taako watched the golden hair cascade to the ground after hearing the metallic click of the scissors he held in his shaking hand. He felt something seize in his chest, something give way, and maybe there were tears in his eyes but this was good for him. This would be good. He couldn't stay the same any longer after so many things had already changed.

He didn’t exactly make quick work of what should have been a fairly easy job. He lingered, lingered, his hands shook, he was so, so hesitant and careful until halfway through when he felt the first tear roll down his cheek. After that, it didn’t take long for him to finish the job. He may have made sloppy work of it, but who could blame him, with eyes clouded by tears and a heart that ached for something he knew had long past its time.

Surrounded by the hair he’d taken such good care of for years, decades, a century, more, tears rolling down his cheeks, scissors cold and hard in his hands, Taako looked at his reflection. And he looked different.

Not a bad kind of different. Not what he could call a good kind either. Just different. He tore his eyes away from the mirror to look around him at the mess on the floor.  
He couldn’t count all the time he’d lost with his sister. He couldn’t count all the mistakes he’d made, all the times he could have just freed her and should have listened, he couldn’t count all the times he’d fallen victim to others’ mistakes, all the times they’d fallen victim to his, but… at least this felt right.

Taako didn’t need to look like home anymore. He didn’t need to take too long looking in the mirror and cover it with false vanity. His home was in the people around him, and his heart had returned to him. 

Taako let himself glance at the mirror again and allowed himself a smile. Short hair didn’t look bad on him. He could pull it off, be real, Taako could pull anything off. And, looking in that mirror, despite what he thought might happen, despite everything… he was Taako, and he wasn’t afraid. This time, he didn't linger. He looked at the face he knew so well, a face that meant so much because like so many other things it was a shared face, wiped the tears from his eyes and cheeks, and got to work cleaning the mess he had made.


End file.
